Chapter 3 of How To Be A Stoic by Massimo Pigliucci begins to get into the nuts and bolts of Stoicism. Because Epictetus is the author’s guide the opening quote from Epictetus both sets the tone and summarizes the chapter neatly: “We must make the best of those things that are in our power, and take the rest as nature gives it.”
The quote evokes the Serenity Prayer that is part of many 12-step programs like Alcoholics Anonymous. The concept is both accepted as a common sense truth and an admission of powerlessness – sometimes in the same conversation. [Project managers are often given responsibilities without authority and then told to find a way to make things happen. It is as if you do not recognize that there are things outside of your control, then limitations don’t exist. This flies in the face of nearly every philosophy, culture, and religion. In practical terms the issue is less about recognizing that we can not control everything, rather the crux of this chapter is the struggle to understand where the boundary lies in the context of the 21st Century. Implementation requires structure and guidance, practice (practice infers learning from mistakes), and the recognition that there is a gray area between what we can control and not control. At a finite level that gray area differs for each individual and at the species level the gray area changes over time.
The author acknowledges that the line between control and outside of our control is not as sharp as an old-school sailor’s tattoo. Pigaluci discusses three levels of influence we have as we interact with the dichotomy. First, we make decisions. We have control over our decisions. Secondly, those decisions may or may not be implemented as we foresaw. Our initial control is less effective. Third, some things are utterly outside of our control. My trip to Iceland to see the Northern Lights reflects aspects of all three influences. My wife and I decided to go to Iceland, at least partially to see the Northern Lights. We choose a timeframe in the late fall to increase our odds that fit into a jigsaw puzzle of family obligations. These obligations are influenced by some decisions made by others. While in Iceland two aspects that were truly outside of control the weather on the earth and the weather on the sun interacted to make it difficult to see the aurora. My wife and I still argue whether we did or did not. All that said, we both agreed early in the trip, that once we were committed to the trip and in the air, assuming we took the time to watch the sky diligently, whether we saw an aurora or not was beyond our control. We could not let something outside of our control cause us anxiety and more than worrying about the sun collapsing into a brown dwarf.
Another thought occurred to me as I was digesting this chapter. What is within our control changes over time. In the chapter, the author uses the analogy of his body. The basics are shaped by his DNA – which he had no control over. In the early 21st century this lack of control is becoming less true. Today there are several possible approaches to modifying DNA (efficacy and ethics are another interesting subject). Assuming the science progresses what was outside of our control may no longer be in the future. We need to continually use our wisdom to know the difference between what we can change and what we can’t.
Decisions and actions of the past are like sunk costs. We can not return to the past and make or unmake decisions. We can learn from our successes and mistakes and while they may influence us, we need to recognize we can control our goals and behaviors today. Reflecting on the Prayer of Serenity, we can take charge and own our goals and behaviors. Outcomes are messier, we own internal outcomes but can only influence external outcomes.
Buy a copy of How To Be A Stoic by Massimo Pigliucci and read along
Previous Entries:
Week 1: Logistics and Opening Thoughts
Week 2: The Unstraightforward Path
Week 3: A Roadmap For The Journey
